Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
