He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
