Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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