Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
