So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
