i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
