I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize