if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
