I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Do vagina's smell?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
