And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
