Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
