I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
