it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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