I wannas sexs uuuuu
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
how drunk are you?
Several
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