If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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