Who did Billy Mays play for?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
A+ Viking dick
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
