Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
