the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
did you just send me my own nude
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
