we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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