So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
