no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
