drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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