does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
