took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize