Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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