hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
