I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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