I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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