so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
