Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
