i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
