i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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