you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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