apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
