If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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