There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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