if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
