Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just invented taco cereal.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
