why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
