I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
