the condom got lost in my hair
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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