I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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