This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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