she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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