Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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