There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
