Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
