from now on my penis is your penis
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I have post one night stand depression
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize