I accidentally had phone sex last night
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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