Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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