I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
