whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
