Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
