Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
