He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Randomize
