I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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