I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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