Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Michael Bay diarrhea
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
