Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
