I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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