he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
