What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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