Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
